There is one and only way to be alive. Keep stiff.

I don’t quite remember when everything starts to go wrong. There was a time when people are blessed to feel happy, but now they are cursed to do it. Anyway, with its advent, those days are gone now.

The monster is horrible. Although they are too small to be seen, thinking of them is some kind of punishment. They are greedy like a dragon in the cellar of a castle sleeping on the hill of gold. They are horrifying as a irriated emperor, clentching his grail tight, quivering. They are crazy about the dopamine, and they suck them like a vampire. A ruthless, consuming vampire. A vampire that can go under the sun and in front of everyone and laugh, because no one can do nothing about it.

Once somebody smiles, the monster will find him or her. They are its feast. Too greedy that it eats the whole brain. The guy will become a brainless happy person that constantly produces dopamine for the monster, a slave, a dopamine gold mine. Doctors can study the victims, but they have no idea how to fight against it, the demon inside the brain. There is no cure to this virus. The only way to get rid of it is death.

People’s life started to change. They no longer smile, or even let out a trace of delight. There are few things to take delight in, though. The government put reminders everywhere for emotion control. Advertising slogan are prohibited to include any joke. The law banned any form of entertainment. The city is so dead. Grey walls, muted mouths and emotionless faces are everywhere. In this era, executers kill by making targets laugh.

Well, I am one of the executers.

People lost their hope and meaning of life. There are large number of suiciders, using cyanide or rope. But they are too painful, too hard to take. Compared with more pain, they want to feel delighted for just a second even it takes their life forever. They were decent people before the disaster, diligent, supportive, well-motivated. But now the depression is torturing their mind, making them a desert walker without water, making them a Jier without sleep, making them drugster without heroin. They would die for a laugh.

For the society’s survival, suicide by delight is prohibited by government also. The trade only happens underground. It is really a good money making job that many want to enter, but I and Lily are the best. Lily is a great executor. She’s beautiful. Though she hardly reveals her whole face, you can tell by looking into her deep brown eyes. They are mysterious and tender, glittering like ocean breeze. Her skin is pure spotless, especially constrasting the black rough scarf she wore to cover her face. She was an actor. Her smile is deadly, literally. She can smile without feeling happiness, but the beauty never fails to delight men, and kill them in the meantime.

I and Lily had a client this rainy day. We waited in the cellar. This was a lady, so it was my duty. Before the execution started, we confirmed again her will to suicide. Lily led her to the seat, while I went to the backstage and put on my suit and tie. The show started.

I was a comedian before the rise of the monster. I told jokes on TV show, and I was really good at it. The comedian blood had ran in my vein since my childhood, after a car accident, where I lost my legs. There were not many things to do after you are labeled “disabled”. I found I was really good at telling jokes and make people laugh, even if I think those jokes are stupid, so I became a comdian. My career was a success, before the rise of the monster, I mean.

My life was totally ruined again after the monster’s rise. I had no job and almost starved to death until Lily introduced me into the executors. I execute by telling jokes. Funny, telling jokes only makes me more depressed. I make all sorts of funny gestures and facial expressions to please the audience, but I feel so small in front of them. What I get is tease but respect. I know that what makes me stand out is my disability, and people like the diabled making fun of themselves. The more they laugh, the more disgusting they are.

My job now is much more meaningful that my previous one. The lady’s emotionless face melt and the smile bloomed and the laugh burst out. She almost laughed to tears. I felt satisfied with my work. In a moment she would no longer be herself.

We wrapped the body carefully and took it out of the cellar for somebody else to deal it later. Then Lily drove me home.

It felt good to be with Lily. She was like an Athen goddess, I thought when I sat at copilot and looked at her side face. I could come up with different metaphors for her beauty every single day. She was kind and helpful, especially to somebody like me. It’s dangerous for a man and a girl work together. We both know it, so we carefully control our emotions and barely talk to each other. Funny, the more she looks cold and emotionless, the more I like her.

I stared out of the window. The rain blurred the pedestrians’ face and everythings were illusory. This place was so dismay that I couldn’t think of a reason of living. I recalled the lady that was executed today. She was a mother. All these years she was avoiding the happiness of being a mother, but she was able to feel delight just a week after her son’s death. I remembered her tears. Are they tears of delight or sorrow?

”What do you think people are living for if they can’t feel happy?” Lily asked.

”You don’t feel happy either, so what are you living for?” I asked back.

”I don’t know others, but I live for honors” She said. “In this era you can’t be blamed for suicide, but you are honored to live."

"You are horrible."

"I don’t know others, but I live because it’s like a real life drama. When I was acting, I controlled my emotion. But when the whole life is about controlling the emotion, we are all the best actors. And it’s exciting.”

I looked at her face. There are not a trace of excitement.

”You’re tough."

"Who’s not in this world?” Lily sighed.

That’s truth. I do believe things will be different if happiness is deleted from the world compelety. People won’t live for charming good ladies or ludicrous jokes or dopaine production anymore. They will live for something bigger, something larger than life, something that Saints or zombies pursue. There will be no suffering. No more suicide by delight. The monster is like forcing us to the heaven.

A few minutes later, Lily spoke again, still staring straight out of the front windshield. “You know what emotion is the hardest to control?"

"I know.”

I looked at her. There were tears glittering in her eyes. But there is no love story in heaven.